I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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