In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize