you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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