You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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