Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
