Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
