just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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