it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
