Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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