If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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