so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
