A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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