the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
