I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
