is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
