Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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