at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
