if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
