i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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