"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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