i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
