he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
