what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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