What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
