I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
