Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
