Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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