dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
