I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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