it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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