I swear she didn't look like that last week.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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