Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
