Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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