I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
They have beer where we have blood.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
