Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
