She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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