I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize