I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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