last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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