So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
