Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
