well I can't set my house on fire every night
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
there was a trapeze. enough said
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
