I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
