Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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