let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is Oprah even human
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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