He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
