She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
