you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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