i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
