She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
