do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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