flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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