last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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