i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
