She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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