So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Oh god it's open bar.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
