Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
