Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
