i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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