i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Small penises have feelings too.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
